So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
