My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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