he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
