I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
