I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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