Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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