dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
