is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
