Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
