sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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