You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
