NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I am morally bankrupt
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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