It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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