I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
