I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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