i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
