just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
