i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
