dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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