C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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