no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
operation harelip BJ is a go
a search helicopter?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
