im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
