"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize