Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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