This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
