just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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