i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
