Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
