i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
