There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
