i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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