and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
