I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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