Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
