It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
wow bdsm is so cute
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