Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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