i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
