Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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