Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
