so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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