Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
