I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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