what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
