This is not my ceiling
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
