so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
