im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
