so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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