He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
