Sorry, I don't speak sober.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
