all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
